What if I was born as a boy..??

 

It had changed nothing, if I was born as a boy..
Nothing, nothing big enough..
I would have got a comfy cover,
instead a rug that was rough..

I would have been showered with blessings
and chants to keep from evil eye..
Loathed with a lil bit variant reaction
raised eyebrows, silent but deep sigh..

A thought to caress their little sapling
diverged to pain of bearing me..
was there any boy on my place,
surely would have resulted in glee..

Restricted to play, read n write,
my tiny hands had services to give..
As I stepped to adolescence, got into worse
forbidden to smile, dream and live..

If I had been in the city to grow up, I must say
Life would have not less than a sin..
Evil eye turning filthy, raised eyebrows turning grubby
Flesh eating Wolves packed in human skin..


What if I was not a girl , What if I was born as a boy
Respecting Women is what I would have done..
Abuse.. assault.. assail.. not my deeds..
This is what.. If I was born as a boy..

Skirts never tempt, it is in your nature
Short top don't give invitation..
It is you, your mind and your ugliest thinking
without any fault, leaving a girl in humiliation..

I have to fight till my last breadth stays
Be the hard shell.. to save my pearl
will not give up, will not back up
Simply because I AM A GIRL..

Love the way you lie- enhanced ;)

I was standing there, laughing so damn hard,

But that’s alright, because I like the way you burp..

You haven’t meant to be, never been so shy

Well that’s all right, because I love the way you lie.. I love the way you lie..

I can’t tell you what really it is, I can only tell you what it feels like

And every time you yammer witty, 

I can sense it right

You want some leisure time I know, but I still fight

It’s true, we are different two, but it doesn’t touch our love, deep inside..

 

I am on my love, growing countless..

You think I don’t get it, I will don’t get it..

But remember I don’t spy , still I

Catch you when you lie

You come to me, confess, when you smoke

Promise made to me, when you broke

Still listen to me, I’ll yell on you, eat your head

Being quiet and let you smoke yourself instead.

We’ll gonna fight in love, love in fight,

 in each and every mile

That’s so cool, because I like the way you smile

It will be me, right by your side, standing up

It’s perfectly right, because I love the way you love.. I love the way you love..

Happiest Moment

Happiest moment. 

What would you call a happy moment?  A moment which you will never forget in all your lifetime or a one which makes you little cozy in your belly or may be the one which drags you in a loophole of memories. Ahh! There are more lines I can quote but they will not make any sense now when I have already talked too much about what you would call a happiest moment.

So getting to my point, happiest moment in my theories and fundamentals is the one which often gets a smile on my face, especially when I feel left alone in this big junk world. At that moment my mind automatically recollects all the good that has happened to me and all the way I always find this one the first (and when it comes, no need remains longer to think for the other ones), so definitely this one is the happiest moment for me.

29/01/10

My birthday.  My special 20^th, special birthday. The day for which I longed in dreams often, never ever imagined that could ever get happen to me. But it did.

A boy, who cared for me and was deeply in love with me, proposed me on his knees in front of all my friends.

Duh! Being provided with everyone’s attention was not that I wanted. But yes that was the situation I always wanted to happen.

Proposal means to say the true feelings to me, to say what he wanted from me, to say whatever it is in his heart.

Bending on knees was not to satisfy my feministic egotism but to see whether he can bend down when it will be required between us, sometimes him, more often me. But at least he should know to bend.

Admitting love in front of everyone was not for my greed to get such romantic movie’s scene. But to see if he can admit his love without any second thought of what other people will carve out of it or end in placing sarcastic comments on anyone of us both.

The soft unspoken dream came true and I lived every nanosecond of it. I was speechless though.

Stubborn too. Figuring out what happened just a few seconds ago and what is going on now. I was dumb deaf, particularly handicapped at that time. I didn’t expressed much, still showed my best to bid thanks. Thanks from my fulfilled dream, my water filled eyes, my overjoyed and diabetic heart (as those few hours were the most dangerously sugar coated sweet hours) and my minute by minute getting stronger LOVE.

I said yes and brought myself to normal me to look normal me (though it was not all going through me, it was immense flow of emotions). I came home and I cried. I cried a lot. 

I cried for such a day, which I could have never got without him.

I cried for the dream I lived in real.

I cried for the happiest moment of my life. 

A day - Not to be remembered

You could have lost me today..
What you did was not forgiveable.. At least not for me.. How can I share you or your time or your talks.. I can't..
You think it is cool, it can be as it is.. No one will trace you and give you a lecture for what you did..
Did you once thought, just for a while, that what I will feel when I'll come to know about all this nonsense going on..
It feels miserable.. terrible.. as if someone is choking my throat.. Have you ever felt this.. Have you gone through this situation ever?
Then why, why you did it to me? Can you answer with one reason..

I have lost the hope for anything better could happen.. How can  I try to trust you..
 Trust is not the thing which is given on demand .. you have to earn it.. Prove it..
I would have better prayed for  my death before this.. Don't you understand what thing I can't bear.. I cannot listen you up to something..
Please try to understand me, try to see my love for you.. I have loved you like nothing else in this world..
I still love you but I am missing my trust on you.. Can you make it better now.. Can you resolve this matter..
NO!!
I have almost lost me.. My trust is not with you now.. I will doubt you on your behaviour, your talks.. And  I'll hate myself for it.. You have driven me in this dilemma.. You have to pass me on through it..
Thought of losing you makes me feel to kill myself .. I wish you have realised your mistake..I wish you really had..  

Arguments

May be you get sick of it.. May be you want to..

May be I can't help it.. May be  I do not want to..

    My arguments..

They bring me close to you.. Every single time when I try to figure the stuff out and result into a silly sick argument chain.. Result : you exasperated and I sobbed..

Damn!! It happen always.. And it always make me feel, man, we are humans and we are in a relationship.. Not just because every couple do fight in real.. but it is something which we have normal plus adulating between us..

You .. You are pretty good at blaming things on me or just finding something else to crack on my head when you know YOU HAVE BEEN CAUGHT for your mistake.. And when I calm down, try to soothe you , You admits for your mistake.. 

I never calm down because you yell on me or pick me hard but because it makes you to find out a way to apologize in your own lunatic way.. I do understand that.. And I love it.. 

I..   I , sometimes, (do focus on sometimes :P) behave insane.. over-react.. exaggerate the situation.. yell on you without listening a word.. form silly and hypothetical visualizations..  (that's it.. m not going to open out more.. hope you got me.. :D ).. You take me well.. You handle me pretty good.. well by getting YANGRY.. which you know , is the perfect way to move me in your direction.. and then you are explaining to me everything.. Loving me with more of you.. <3

All these things contain.. ARGUMENTS.. A long chain of arguments , i should better say..

I love it.. Love to argue.. Love to make my point clear, whether it proves to be helpful or not, doesn't matter..

This is how we go further.. 

This is how we move on.. 

This is how we fight..

This is how we Love..